MONTAWAAAANOW?

Some of you have heard her glorious name but for those in the back I will scream it out for the people in the back…MARIA MONTESSORI! Dang y’all, I wish there was a button for echoing just for drama effect. I get so excited when I speak about Montessori. I would like to say that it is because I am extremely bias on her teachings being a “Montessorian” and all. Here’s a quick rundown, Maria Tecla Artemisia  Montessori was a lady boss before her time, a brilliant trailblazer, a child whisperer if you will. She was a physician, scientist, and educator who is known for her beautiful work in research and hands on education with children who were mentally and developmentally disabled. In a time where children were to be seen and not heard, she advocated and demanded that children, when being taught especially, should be responsible for what they learned and how they learned it. This is a concept widely known as “following the child”. Instead of having a rigid formal education model, the child is free to explore their interest.

SAY WHAT NOW?!

I know, I know, you can hear your 4^th grade teacher in your ear telling you everything about this is not how it should be. I am a walking testimony of how beautiful Montessori truly is. When I was an active RBT (registered behavioral therapist), I had the opportunity of sitting in the brand new class that opened in our school. I was told by so many that I should get my oldest son Dragon into the class, as it would be phenomenal. My head instantly went to him jumping from counter to table, breaking every glass dish he seen in sight. Being a mommy of 3 at the time, who considered themselves sane within reason, and free spirited, I wanted to see what the commodity was about. You know, the new beautiful hippie lady who out hippied (is hippied a word?) me. I also wanted to see how she got a whole class of 5,6, and 7 year olds, this experience was beautiful. It brought me to tears and BLEW MY MIND YALL! Like when I say that I literally went home and Google searched everything one could learn about Montessori I read books, I watched videos, I eventually became obsessed to the point of, as I mentioned in my Bio, I am now a Montessori teacher.

Before I walked into that classroom, I would have liked to think that my sane was saner than the average Autism mom;

I mean lets be real Autism moms all have a little quirky to deal with the quirkiness ya know? What I discovered was, I was not living fearlessly in raising my boys, as I would have liked. I had to do some real soul searching and fast because what I was discovering as I read more and more articles, was that I was the one holding my sons back. WHAT A HUGE REALITY CHECK. Me, a seasoned RBT, who literally could take a punch to the face and not blink, WAS A FRAUD to my initial perception of what I felt my parenting style was. I fixed all their meals, I cleaned up behind them, I controlled every aspect of everything they did because I feared they would either hurt themselves or wouldn’t have their needs met. The worse part about all of this was at the end of everyday I would be exhausted, stressed, and depleted of any memory of anything they had learned. I mean seriously, I couldn’t think of one, just a singular thing that will make my children more independent future adults.

THE CHANGE

One day I woke up. It was seriously like lightning struck my core. My sweet husband has always made it a point to apply pressure to the boys, while I sat back on the verge of tears out of fear that they may fail. It was time to cut the maid apron off and allow my children to do what they are naturally capable of. We started slow with me fixing one meal for everyone. I had made habit of fixing the same meals each one would like. I forged forward with giving them the experience of trying things that none of us knew if they liked or not because they were never given the opportunity (by me not placing it on their plate) to try. We left their desert in the center of the table and set the standard of bites to access it usually 3 and always with something on their plate that they did enjoy and was familiar to them. Success did not come easy from this. I remember a few nights crying in my bathroom as I felt like Cinderella’s step-mama who didn’t let her go to the ball when they were denied their desert.  As time went on we incorporated having them help prepare meals, and setting the table with glass, GLASS cups and plates. They became responsible for restoring their eating area, scraping their plates, and placing their dinner items in the dish washer. EVEN MY THEN 2 YEAR OLD! They were so in their element helping me cook and bake. They eventually graduated to baking things for their dad, because if you haven’t figured out by now he’s the MVP of the house. Shortly after the chef hats came lessons in vacuuming and making their beds. We now have so many things that they do as far as chores, my list would take forever. We use Montessori principles in our house, WE ARE a Montessori family. I enjoy that the boys are learning to care for themselves, each other, and their items. I love that my house is tidy and I’m not exhausted at the end of the day! All it takes is a leap of faith, patience, and the knowledge that something may get broken along the way. All the hard work is in the beginning, but after practice and repetition I can see a colossal difference in their confidence and independence. So, what’s your first step?

Montessori and Autism