The Dark Dark HOLE

HERE I GO AGAIN ON MY OWN....WAIT NOPE THERE'S A HOUSE FULL OF HUMANS WHO NEED ME!

 I was picking up chip bags, sketch books, and uncapped markers when I hit rock bottom. I don't know what happened. It was almost as if a darkness covered me. I was worn out completely and I literally had to think if I had taken a breath. I mean come on.....of course I was breathing because I was able to do the magic of Cinderella's fairy Godmother but with the attitude of the Wicked Witch of the West but like breathing with the intent of not just surviving. My fuse was as short as a stick of lit TNT. I was in a dark dark hole. I cried. I mean ugly cried. The cry that brought such shame. How could I have let my emotions get the best of me?

SHAME! SHAME! 

It is so hard ya'll to get caught up in go mode that you forget every machine has an emergency stop button. I believe the shame came from walking out of the house and being told, "Oh WOW! YOU really have it all together." Thanks Susan, but Roberts Boy B just asked for a whole set of clothes because he spilled a cup of water on himself that he stowed in the back seat when I told him to put the lid on. I had become an enemy to myself. I I had started entertaining the invisible crowd of judges in my head I swore to never care about. Other people were patting me on the back when I failed to do so myself. There is no bigger defeat then not being your biggest cheerleader. Ricky Bobby put it so elegantly to inform us all that, "If ya ain't first, you're last!" SO today I am writing you this so that we may talk about self care.

INSERT FACE PALM, GET UP AND DUST YOURSELF OFF LADY!

What have you done for yourself? Sure you created little humans (WHO PROBABLY LOOK NOTHING LIKE YOU....) but what have you done to help maintain yourself. We all can list off a mountain of things other people tell us what self care looks like. I am not going to lie to you, and people think I am crazy when I say this, lately my secret pleasure of self care has been sneaking off to Sam's Club and grabbing the biggest Root Beer float I can get my hands on. Want to hear something even dirtier? One time I got two! I know right, I am a bad Mother-Hubbard. I then proceeded to the parking lot finished them both off while people watching, and drove home without any groceries. There I said it.

THE CHALLENGE!

Did you know that self care and mental health actually go hand in hand. It is not as easy as everyone makes it seem especially to mothers. One might even consider it a discipline to some extent. MAKING time for ourselves, as adults in general, takes intent. I challenge you to start slow. Practice being selfish for 20 minutes out of each day. Take a moment to breath with the purpose of feeling your lungs fill up. Taste your favorite treat. Smell those.........dirty socks under your couch pillow you can put in the laundry later!